It’s not your fault, but it IS your responsibility is one of life’s most profound sayings.
This has been stated a lot. We will discuss responsibility and obligation today.
Your birth marked the beginning of The Great Handoff. Your parents were entirely responsible for your health—your DNA, genes, cell structure, and parts of your behaviours—until you came out of the womb. You started breathing on your own, metabolising your own food, and excreting your own waste from that point on. “I’ve got this,” stated your first poop.
You gradually, and then more quickly, began to accept responsibility for your own care. You fed yourself, then dressed yourself, and finally began to console yourself. Your parents’ responsibility for your health has been reduced from 90% to 50% to whatever it is now. Almost certainly close to zero.
Who noticed the difference? Who is now in charge of your health? Your physician? Your partner? Do you still give your parents a lot of credit for how you look and feel?
I’d like you to participate in a short exercise with me. First, make a list of everyone who is responsible for your health. Begin with your:
Make a list of the people who will be looking after you.
Assign accountability now. How much of your current health should your doctor be in charge of? The doctor is responsible for almost all aspects of your health if you are in the hospital and using a respirator, catheter, or feeding tube. If your wife is changing your bedpan and cleaning you up while you’re at home using a respirator and feeding tube, she might be shouldering 80% of the blame, the doctor might be shouldering 10%, etc.
Your parents, how about them? What benefit to your health did they provide? Well, they’re to blame for your genes, but if you’re old enough to clean yourself up, eat for yourself, and dress yourself, they’re actually not responsible for your health.
Your dentist, how about him? How much of your overall health is their fault?
What about your nutritionist or coach? How much of the burden are they prepared to take on? As a coach, I’ve learned over the years that I’m willing to take some responsibility for the health of my clients. They are placing their physical prowess, suppleness, and stamina in my hands. Sometimes, everything is in my control; they will not act unless I direct them to. Does that imply that your coach and nutritionist are 50% responsible for your health? 30%? 70%?
Who else is accountable for it?
No matter how you look at it or how much control you’re ready to give up, the majority of the responsibility for your health will still fall on your shoulders. You can certainly trust the doctor, despite the fact that he also has 10,000 other patients, a golf game, a vehicle payment, and his own health issues to consider. You can blame the clouds, that strange virus from the Amazon, your parents, their parents, or their parents’ parents. No matter what, blame them. Remind yourself: I’m not to blame! Do it now.
After you’ve finished screaming and blaming, let’s get back to the crucial question: What are you going to do about it?
How much accountability are you ready to accept?
To accept responsibility, one must respond, “Yes, and…? “any time you experience a setback. It entails facing the anxiety associated with beginning a new workout in a new gym. “Yes, I feel afraid. And …? It implies acknowledging that giving up sugar will be challenging. Indeed, it will be difficult. And …? It entails acknowledging both your actual and perceived frailties. I’m too out of shape to run quickly, yes. Maybe I’ll be the last one to complete the warm-up. And …? ”
But if you take charge of your health, SOMEONE else will. Because NONE of the persons you wrote on your list earlier, regardless of how many names you included, will be eager to assume the level of responsibility you gave them. “Will you accept 10% of the responsibility for my health? “, ask your doctor. She will hesitate. Ask your partner – Will you share 50% of the blame if I’m unable to walk when I’m 80? They’ll admonish you to get off your behind and go for a stroll right away because they won’t be carrying your lazy butt around when THEY are old, and they’ll be right to do so. Your dentist will respond, “I’ll save my worry for someone who flosses better, thanks,” if you ask him to shoulder 10% of the blame for your health.
Nobody else can make you healthy. You are in charge. You may be beginning over (yes, and…?). You may find the concept of vegetables and exercise repulsive. You might be tempted to lay responsibility elsewhere—on your parents, your doctor, your slacker pals, your job, indeed, even on your current state of health—which might not even be your fault.
However, you ARE accountable for it. 100%. Please let me know if you accept.